June Horoscopes

Our Sky Horoscopes also appear in The Triangle

Aries:  As the breastworks get under construction and all sides work to hold on to what they’ve gained, or not yet lost, keep in mind that all of this came about from people applying their minds to a problem as though their lives depended on it.  Your planet begins deal making on the 21^st; don’t take foolish propositions personally as the air is permeated with wishful thinking.    

Taurus:  Now that you’ve got the right company and a little elbow room you can actually accomplish more.  Starting June 10^th mounting distractions will make concentration difficult, but time-saving tips will be the tradeoff.

Gemini:  The opposite of a vampire, you thrive on light and know exactly how to use it.  By the 13^th you’ll be zipping around like a squirrel in its canopy of trees and insulated wires.  However, on the 19^th you begin a passage through ominously tender territory.  Stories about blood sucking demons are just that, good for thrilling those who know better or for controlling those who don’t.

Cancer:  Some babies cry the minute they have a dirty diaper, others cry only when we lay them down to change it.  The new disposable ones are so good at concealing the facts of life that baby can go all day without anyone realizing his wrapper is loaded with waste water.  This month it becomes clear; no matter how effective institutions are at turning out better diapers, we still need thoughtful grownups like you to change them.

Leo:  By the 23^rd you’ll feel like you can take a shower and shave, or maybe just soak in the tub awhile.  You will have zero control, but, according to the laws of luck and other factors, some mouse will be on its way to return past generosity.

Virgo:  On the 5^th you begin a year of experimentation, but first you have an obligation lasting through the 16^th to make sure everyone has the correct information.  In other words, whether or not you are a teacher, it is time to tally up the marks and get the grades out.  After that you can ride the currents of summer like a hang glider catching thermals.

Libra:  Your vacation begins on the 10^th; the weekend after that your charms peak as the industrious self control you’ve practiced over the last year makes a favorable impression on fascinating new friends.

Scorpio:  Sharing the facts is taboo for you, but starting on the 21^st you’re going to have to give a few up.  I can see you thinking, “How trustworthy is this person?  How much can I safely tell them?”  There is risk involved even after you make a penetrating assessment of the people you are dealing with.  Ultimately you have to take a chance; the contract will collapse without the relevant information.

Sagittarius:  The steam begins to dissipate on the 5^th and conservation becomes the new strategy.  Your commitment to the cause in the upcoming year will draw you into studious practice.  By the 28^th your planet will have gained enough distance from the Uranian revolution to concentrate on a revised code of ethics.

Capricorn:  If it seems as though everything comes to a standstill around the 12^th you’ll know you are right on schedule.  The Saturnian train is long and reversing course feels like a miraculous feat of engineering.  You’ll be able to see signs of advancement by the 22^nd.

Aquarius:  When Moses came down from the mountain to find all his comrades behaving badly, what did he do but go back up the mountain and write laws in stone.  Now that’s a serious dictator, but unlike pharaoh he fed the people without forcing them to build pyramids.  You may be brave enough and smart enough to whip pharaoh’s ass, but can you convince us to change our behavior?

Pisces:  I always wondered if Houdini got pissed off at cheap illusionists toward the end of his career because he was tired.  It must have been demoralizing to see fake spiritual fanatics raising the roof while he worked diligently to develop his skills.  Right now you are too busy testing your craft to worry about people appreciating your depth of devotion, but like Houdini, you are the one the students will come to when they want a real escape artist.