Friday, June 1, 2012

June Horoscopes

Aries:  In the second week of June you will feel your confidence drop as worries make it hard to think objectively.  Ancient students of rhetoric had to practice speaking with marbles in their mouth.  Think of this as training; you’ll be a star speaker by the 26th thanks to this temporary handicap.

Taurus:  Feeling like a forgotten potato in the pantry with tender roots reaching for that honey jar on the first shelf?  Wondering how much longer before you get pitched into the compost heap?  You’re not finished yet; private adventures June 7-25 will show you everything you need to know about the next chapter in your life. 

Gemini:  You rule the first week of June and then you’ll be trapped inside the looking glass for almost three weeks.  When the month begins to wind down you will have lived through many nonsense rhymes that once made you laugh, and will be coming up with originals of your own.

Cancer:  According to legend we got the Our Father when the people asked Jesus how to pray.  I always wondered why he didn’t just throw his hands up in disgust and say “I give up!  You fools are hopeless!”  Instead he produced a formula, quick as a glass of instant milk, that we still repeat today.  Your job this month is to outline the facts of caring. We are all gods trapped in flesh from the same god, but are lost without your reminders of how this is so.

Leo:  You get plenty of respect till June 7 when an emotional techie messes up the cue frames or you are overwhelmed by the news and have to cut to station identification.  Mature associates will provide the lines you need to keep the broadcast rolling.  Though you won’t be in charge yet, by the middle of the month you’ll have willing assistance because you stood up for a difficult story.

Virgo:  The first week of June we look to you to get the facts straight, then some of us can jump in and all you have to do is give pointers to the confused helpers and answer questions to keep us on the right track.  In the middle of June you get a bigger project to set up, but it won’t upturn your life and you have a year to complete it.

Libra:  You are a social butterfly with an invisibility cloak, which may come in handy the second week of June when the accounts of loss and dependency start coming in.  It just so happens as you adjust to the various requests for understanding, the cloak will be shrinking, but what matters is that visible or not, you can help people locate their own source of pain. 

Scorpio:  You lose control starting June 7.  You’ll have the reigns for a crisis June 12-14 but then it’s back to dealing with whatever comes up as best you can.  Think of yourself as a contractor finishing up construction on a house, you have to coordinate various experts as they become available.

Sagittarius:  If last your last year was dark night of the soul, the one starting June 12 is the year of impersonations, and you had good coming attractions in May going from wasp to caterpillar to butterfly.  June 7 your butterfly morphs to penguin and on the 26th you become a dolphin. 

Capricorn:  After a week of productive research you go back to the kitchen for a few weeks and work on the stew.  As business comes to a standstill and tensions increase, the idea of celebrating will appear more strategic than frivolous.  A bit of theater gives you a chance to set the tone as the next round of negotiations approaches.

Aquarius:  Guerilla sword play with facts is fun, but starting June 7 there will be more players crying foul or requesting a time out to discuss the rules of play.  This won’t be as entertaining as electronic documentation of witless criminals and public officials, but it will give you a chance to outline your views on our evolving rules of privacy.

Pisces:  On the 12th you get direct access to information that previously came from a friend or ally, even as they are drawing closer to you.  To Pisceans trivia is the milk of kindness.  After the 27th your friend will be on their way as the dialogue is becoming festive.