Monday, September 17, 2018

Cross Training

The Moon is lining up with Saturn today.  Saturn is in the disciplinary sign of Capricorn and will take its time there for the next 2 years.  I want to talk about the mechanics of why we see Saturn and the Moon so low on the horizon, but I have learned a very important lesson from cross training.  The lesson is that we can only progress in small steps and if we try to progress too rapidly beyond our capabilities we become very discouraged.

When the Moon is lined up with Saturn we have a chance to focus on the limitations of our individual circumstances, and breathe through that reality.  Keep in mind that the word psyche in ancient Greek texts is translated in English as soul, but the word to them actually meant 'breath as the sign of life.'  They thought a lot about how breath distinguished plants and planets from animals, and how the human ability to control our own breath makes us special.

People often say the Greeks thought the mind was in the area of heart or stomach, but the word they used was phrenos; and I think they were referring to the ability to control breath through the movement of the diaphragm.  When someone was in a panic, or stirred to anger, they lost their phrenos or ability to control their diaphragm.  This is a valuable association to keep in mind when we ponder the nature of soul or psyche.

Today I am preparing for vet visit to check on my older cat's runny eyes.  I received a call from my son last night.  After a wonderful half hour of catchup on his sailing & boat building life he invited me to visit him in New England.

The way the invitation was framed was sobering.  His former boss and wife from another job had stopped into the harbor where he lives and works, on their way sailing home and paid him a visit.  They toured the historic vessel he's working on and admired the pilot cutter he bought in July.  It is his first sail boat, built in 1937.

The wife asked him if his parents had come to visit, and he said no.  She was amazed.

So I have been given the push I needed to stop fantasizing about how wonderful it would be to see my son, and meet the people he works with, and make it happen.  It won't be easy.

But I have been rigorously cross training.  I am almost finished memorizing the second chapter of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.  The sutra I am memorizing now discusses a skill I have been developing to free myself of fantasies, like the one of going to visit my son.

[II:54]
स्वविषयासम्प्रयोगे चित्तस्य स्वरूपानुकार इवेन्द्रियाणां प्रत्याहारः॥५४॥
Svaviṣayāsamprayoge cittasya svarūpānukāra ivendriyāṇāṁ pratyāhāraḥ
Withdrawal of the senses is where objects are not allowed to stir the mind at all, and it follows, rather, after its own nature.

Previous sutras explain how to turn attention inward; and here, in the next to last sutra of the second chapter, Patanjali introduces another step on the yogic path, which is learning to focus on the peaceful field of the mind while allowing thoughts and impressions to fade and recede.  
This was a handy tool when fanatasies of visiting my son came up.  I knew from experience and sutra 2:15 that these mental wanderings would only lead to pain, that resentment was lurking around the bend of the contemplation of even such a healthy pleasure.  My circumstances are very limited and travel is a luxury I can ill afford.  So I focused on breathing, or memorizing a sutra, or study.
Now I am not contemplating a visit as a pleasure to be fulfilled but as the responsibility of a parent.  The journey will disturb a mental health routine which has taken years and dedication to establish.  I didn't start out as a sober, responsible parent; it was a long, evolving process.  My son grew up in the heart of my psychic storm, my uncontrolled phrenos, as many children do.
It is more than a pleasure to witness his success in life and ability to overcome family obstacles, it is an honor and a duty.
That's Moon meeting Saturn.  I'm scared.  Worried about my senior calico cat - she's as tuff as cats come, but she may need me here.  My mind is pulled in various directions; plans must be made for the journey, but not until we see what the vet says.
I repeat sutra 2:54 while washing dishes.  The emotional recollections of my son's childhood, and worries about how this change in schedule could affect my mental health are called samskaras in Sanskrit.  I repeat the sutra silently and remember that funny new age word.  

Saturn days became a bit easier for me when I learned to identify them, like a child learning why everyone is lining up and filing into the hall way.  It is time now to do this.  Cross training with the yoga sutras helps me develop the mental ability to let failures of the past fade as I focus on dealing with present responsibilites.  Failures are like unwanted commercials I can ignore on the tv screen of my inner mind.  Silently repeating any sutra lowers the volume.

I have resolved to compose posts that are less ambitious, but I am still dedicated to encouraging readers to become comfortable reading maps of a time and place in the solar system.  Below is a map for 9:34 in Raleigh, the moment I began composing this post.  You can see the crescent symbol (Moon) just about caught up with Saturn at 2 degrees Capricorn 39 minutes.  If I got a chart for now, 12:16pm they would probably be just under the horizontal line on the left side of the circle. Maybe it would not be too ambitious to include one for this moment so you can see how the movement of earth turning is represented in the chart.

Well, it looks like Saturn/Moon are just now crossing into first house.  They will be rising in a couple of hours; we won't be able to see them until the Sun sets, but the map tells us Raleigh is turning toward them.










No comments:

Post a Comment