Moon Leaving Pluto in Capricorn

When I started the Our Sky fb group a few years ago I imagined it as a source of support for days like today.  My Capricorn friends were having their Pluto transits and I wanted them to have a place to talk about that.

Well, so far it has seemed like a waste of time.  I realized almost immediately how little my friends knew about astrology and got right down to business giving them a good education.  In the process I learned a lot that never was covered in all the astrology books i've studied over the years.  If I hadn't learned so much I really would consider all this effort to have been wasted.  None of my Capricorn friends have any idea how Pluto is associated with the loss of innocence they've experienced in the last few years.  So far I have failed as a community educator.

That may sound depressing, but these are the kind of thoughts that go with the end of a long Moon meets Pluto day.  And today was a doozy.  The only thing I had going for me was serious sobriety.  I never thought turning away from social interaction would be the most important step in finding what I wanted, but it worked like magic.

Today I thought of Frankenstein's monster.  I was trying to describe the feeling I get almost every time the Moon comes around to Pluto and Mary Shelly's character was the closest I could come.  More like a third or fourth generation.  I imagined instead of suicide he had found another monster, a female created by some other ambitious doctor of science, and they had made love and bred. 

When that exiled frame of mind associated with Pluto comes over me I wonder if anyone else feels it on these Moon and Pluto days.  I feel grateful for astrology and the knowledge of the planetary cycles.  I feel grateful for preceding generations that have cleared a path to the present.  I never occurs to me that I could curse them for my miserable monstrous existence.  I know in a matter of days, well right now more like a couple of weeks, the Moon will line up with Jupiter and my soul will come so close to leaving my body that it will feel like i'm gliding over Raleigh suspended from a high tech balloon.

Tonight, as I came up from the Plutonian depths of the day, my mind came back to the yoga sutras.  The one that surfaced in my mind is from the second or third "pada" which I think is kind of like chapter.  It's one of the sutras that gives some idea of what it will be like when the aspirant reaches liberation.  Kind of like symptoms, but in this case of freedom rather than pathology.  It says there will be no more desire to know anything.  There are a couple other desires that finally burn away, but that one about knowing things is a hard one to imagine.

That's right, another one is no desire to avoid things.....I  am NOT going to look it up. 

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I joined the local astronomy club.  When I volunteered for an event I was paired with a guy who does chemistry for a living.  He showed me a spectro, the gizmo they put on telescopes to get those beautiful bars of color all broken down into hundreds of little lines.  I asked him questions about things I could not understand in science and wished I could stay an extra shift just to learn more from someone with good answers.  I really wanted to know.

An astrologer is supposed to know about heaven, which covers a lot of territory.  I usually tell myself it is ok to study because people will have the same questions I have and will be grateful and happy to pay for good answers.  But today the sense of despair, as the Moon moved into Pluto's first house, got pretty intense.  At one point, near the end of cleaning a house I thought I should just give up in making a living as an astrologer.  There are so many reasons not to engage in the practice and they are just as good as the ones for pursuing it.  As the thought to give up flashed through my mind the knowledge of the Moon's position followed.  I was in my car, I breathed a relaxed sigh in the warm sunlit front seat.  I started up the car.  I looked to see if anyone was coming and pulled out into the street.  I was on my way home, where I am now.

Yesterday, or maybe Sunday, I spent at least half an hour, at least, I love playing with the numbers, figuring out when Pluto would stand still and when Mercury would over take Earth on the inside lane.  Today Pluto moved less than two seconds along the ecliptic.  It is in the same degree and minute as yesterday and will remain there through the next few days.  Venus is still going extremely slow, its motion is like a plane that seems not to ne moving because of the angle of its path.  I love knowing these things, looking at the numbers that barely change before and after I struggle with these thoughts that seem to hang on to the walls of my mind like Frankenstein's monster listening to the people talking in the blind man's humble abode.

This need, this drive to bring the monster into the fold.  I really love knowing the Moon is passing Pluto when that feeling comes over me.  I'm no where near liberation but there's plenty of time.

Venus and the Moon

One of my customers died this past Nov and her husband is making his way through the process of adjusting to the loss.

I can't remember what name I used for her in older posts.  I don't think I have mentioned in the blog that she was one of the first people to let me do her chart when I began studying astrology 30 years ago.

Last month her husband included me in the list of family members when he sent an email about the spring flowers in bloom and how his wife would be tending them and delivering them to friends if she were still here.

My first thought was "She would also be picking up the dead blossoms littering the front walkway."  But as my thoughts wandered among the many years of memories I settled on her chart.  I wrote an email in response about how she was born right before dawn on a night of the old Moon lining up with Venus.

Venus is a morning star now, as it was when my customer was born, which means it is waxing, or growing in light as it circles away from Earth toward the far side of the Sun.  Yesterday I cleaned at her house, picked up the dead blossoms, and used her hand pruner to remove some of the seedlings that have been taking over the yard.  I picked up a bunch of sticks and swept the walkways.

I thought about the man who has been coming to blow the leaves for years; how the yard has changed and the detailed work my customer used to do has fallen to him.

Her husband remarked again yesterday that she had done so many things to take care of him, and I said yes I was thinking the same thing as I worked in the yard.

As I walked to the bus stop I thought about how the Moon will be old in 10 days and rising near Venus in the hour before dawn, almost like they were when his wife was born.

So much is written about what to expect when this or that happens in the sky.  To me the real value of astrology is the wisdom it brings down from heaven.

For years I had a hard time getting along with her husband.  At one point I walked away, gave 2 weeks notice and moved on.  We were all clear about why I was leaving.  When her husband called me 5 or so years later I came back for her.  She had profound memory loss.  He and I gradually built a new partnership based on her needs.

Now that she has died I can contemplate their relationship in new ways.  I can think about the love she had for him without being mystified.  What was once a puzzle to me with many pieces missing is now a whole story.  Things come out, after a person dies, that were in the recesses of minds while life was busy having its way.  Life steps aside and forgotten memories come forward.

My customer, widowed for the second time, relates things about his past, and I can understand the bond between them.

I can also see the wisdom of old souls united with waxing kindness.

Between Zeus and Apollo

Jupiter is going down and the Sun is rising.  We turn our backs on one to face the other like a full Moon.  Tonight we passed between Sun and Jupiter.

Here is a quote from Plutarch's essay The Oracles at Delphi:
"Really," said Sarapion, "do you not think so, and do you imagine that the Sun is different from Apollo?"
"Yes," said I, "as different as the moon from the sun; but the moon does not often conceal the sun, nor conceal it from the eyes of all, but the sun has caused all to be quite ignorant of Apollo by diverting the faculty of thought, through the faculty of perception, from what is to what appears to be."

Viewing Moon and Regulus Setting

Well I crashed at 9pm and got up at 3:32am.  There were patches of cloud on the western horizon, but Regulus was visible right near the Moon.

I did not get to perceive the motion during the hour of observation, but got some good practice in seeing how much bigger a degree pf separation looks in the sky compared to a drawing on paper.  That difference in perspective still amazes me.

The Lion's triangle tail and question mark head were not visible without binoculars, but Regulus was immediately present to searching eyes even through the western city haze.  And that Moon is so big and pretty especially when it gets down into the still naked tree tops.

Moon Slides Past Ruler

Our Moon will be near the brightest star in Leo tonight.  I said ruler in the title because the star's name in western catalogues is Regulus, kind of like regent or ruler.  This is a great observing event for people new to sky watching.

Here is a link to the wikipedia article showing Regulus just a tad above the ecliptic.  The head of the lion is like a backward question mark and Regulus is the point at the bottom.

By the time it gets good and dark tonight they will be visible in the eastern sky for northern hemisphere observers. 

If I could show an astrology chart for tonight's sky the Moon would be right near the squiggle symble for the north node, affectionately called Dragon's Head.  That tells us the Moon is in the part of its cycle where it crosses above the ecliptic.  It just so happens that the Moon's north node is right near the star Regulus during this spring. 

Moon won't actually reach the same longitude as Regulus until Atlantic Coast residents are just turning our planetary back to it.  Here in Raleigh we'll start saying "Goodnight Moon," around 3:45am.  

So while folks in the Central and Pacific time zones of U.S. will witness the actual line up, we will still have an excellent chance to gauge Moon's eastward crawl toward Regulus, as the bowl of sky turns westward.

I hope to be out tonight under fairly clear skies to see how the predicted passage looks in the real passing dark heaven.

Lower than High

If you look up at the Moon tonight you will see it just below the feet of Gemini.  (During this millenium the constellation of the twins falls in the sign Cancer.)

The Moon is highest in the sky during the Cancer 12th of its monthly cycle.  The Crab mascot helps us remember that we see it high in the sky because we are crawling across the bottom of our daily tilted revolution.

During the current few years, while the dragon's head is backing through Libra and Virgo, the Moon is well below the ecliptic for the high part of its cycle, and just as high above it for the low part.  If it were on the same level as the main orbital highway we would see the Moon above the Twins' feet.  It is actually flying 4 and a half degrees below the ecliptic.

Still, for now, this is the height of its ride on the pythian squiggle.

The Dragon's Head is the poetic term for where the Moon's path crosses above the path of the ecliptic.  When the Moon and Sun are lined up near the Dragon's Head it looks like one of them is eating the other.  The Dragon's Head is associated with reincarnation of the psyche, a Greek term, which we nowadays refer to in English as soul.

The Moon and Sun are only lined up with Earth when the Moon is new, or full.  So eclipses only happen when new or full Moons occur near the head or tail of the dragon.

What fascinates me is this expanding and contracting of the Moon's wave over a 19 year cycle.  We have been in a contracted period and are only this year returning to the stage where the Moon will gradually reach the feet of the twins, climb to the knees and then approach the heads of the twins.

The increase will be in small increments over the next 8 or so years.  You can follow the Moon as it passes through the twins every month and see for yourself what the ancients meant by the term dragon.

Best

Well I am at Lake Raleigh.  I just saw Mercury slip below tree line, and Jupiter is rising in the east.  This was the best evening view I have ever gotten of Mercury.  Nice skies out here over the lake.  I think I will stay awhile and watch Mars set.

Tracking the Little Devil

Mercury is at greatest elongation in the evening sky this Saturday and I will probably be out there like a fool trying to spot it.  I sit on the bus bench on South Saunders and stare at the horizon across the highway.  I reckon I am becoming a familiar sight to people entering downtown via that busy through way. 

I doubt I will catch a glimpse, but it is kind of like fishing, sometimes we go just to be there. Mercury will be only 19 degrees ahead of Sol, not much chance to shine as the blazing one and only finally gives up the stage.  Oh well, by May 17 it should be easy to spot 40 minutes before sunrise since it will be almost 26 degrees from the Sun.

I will try to leave a link to an English version of Homer's Hymn to Hermes.  Plato and some others from those days were critical of these popular performance pieces.  They thought the young men would be better off learning something more morally edifying, and looked on this stuff the same way social critics these days fret about Disney's Pocahontas or Oliver Stone's historical movies.

Well, I have to say, when I finally did seek out the actual planet I had to smile at how well Homer captured its personality.  It does indeed hide in Maia's cave, literally, like a toddler ducking behind the skirts of its mum.

Tufts edu page with Hymn to Hermes

Being and Becoming

A while back I graduated from a texty beast phone with a keypad to a touch screen, and took a break from blogging after running into obstacles in making posts on this new device.  After giving up for a few months I am beginning to miss my self expression outlet!  Typing is tricky, but including images with text is ugh!  Maddening!

So my chart averse friends will be spared the usual map of real time and just get a Plato quote with a story of how I met and gradually fell deeply in love with it.

It goes something like this: "As being is to becoming, so truth is to believing."

I read it in a philosophy book that I bought at The Paper Plant years ago.  I remember (but you know how shifty memories can be) John being so glad that I bought it.  But I could not remember the exact name of the book or the author.  I knew it wasn't Bakunin the apologist of anarchy (I really liked him!) or Camus (I liked him too, and rembered enough to feel confident I did not read that quote in his writing); it seemed like it was some German guy and the book had philosophy in the title.  When I looked up Heidegger a year or two ago I did not find a title that rang a bell.  But his name stuck in my mind.

Today I googled "Heidegger on Plato" and found it!  It was a lecture that had been made into a book:  "What is Philosophy?"  No wonder I picked it up!  It was cheap (used book store), it was skinny, and it was asking the question I had wondered about, like those people on the commercials for "The National Enquirer" - I wanted to know, not about the Loch Ness monster, but what philosophy is.

It was a kind of a hard read, but there was some stuff (if I remember right) about the verb 'to be' in Greek that reminded me of the verb 'to be' in Spanish.  For one thing, there are actually two of them.  One is for stuff that doesn't change, not absolutely, but relatively speaking, like a person's name or a chair.  The other is for stuff that does, like location; sometimes we are at work, sometimes we are at the store and sometimes we are at home.  One kind of being gets one verb and the other kind gets another.  Well, all langauges don't have one verb for being without change and another for being with change.  Spanish does, but English doesn't.  In English we change the word or stick it beside another one to indicate how transient or unchanging a situation is, or sometimes the audience just has to figure out how transient things are from the context; we can be at the store or we can be the daughter of a political activist, both the transient and the unchanging get the same verb. 

So in this book 'What is Philosphy' Heidegger was explaining how Plato's audience would have been reading two completely different words for two types of being.  And this essay is already getting pretty long for a blog post so I will try to cut quickly to the big moment, where me and that quote first met.

He was talking about truth and illusion and opinion and about how illusions and opinions change, that their angle of inclination changes until they are standing upright, and when that happens they are approaching the truth.  You really will have to read it for yourself, I am sure I have got his meaning all muddled, that's just what remains in my mind more than 20 years after the fact.

But I swear I remember something about the 'to be' verb for changing things, which usually gets translated in English as 'becoming' (as opposed to 'being' for the boring stuff that always stays the same) refering to something that gradually stands up: and that made me think of astrology.  I had read a few books by Dane Rudyer and he was really big on astrology being all about cycles- that each sign, or step in a cycle between two planets, was a step in growth.  Each new step both depends on and builds on the previous step.

I knew astrology was among the graduate, or upper level of courses, that well educated Hellenists studied, so I knew Plato  could probably 'speak' astrology.  But for some reason it took me about 20 years to buckle down and really explore Plato. 

Well, actually the reason it took me so long is probably that in addition to wanting to understand philosophy I was also fascinated with men and, you know, the things everyone says women do with them.  The three letter word that begins with s and leads to parenthood.  But all through those adventures of finding out what this strange activity is that seems so mysterious and primitive and frought with unseen danger I did keep poking around and picking up a skinny book about philosophy here or there, until I settled in for a long satisfying Greek/English translation of Plato's Timeaus.  It is by Benjamin Jowett and has lots of really helpful annotations.

Wow.  So many years wondering.  That quote really baffled me.  "As being is to becoming so truth is to believing."  Now, rather than baffle, it encapsulates for me so much of the wisdom unfolded in the part of Timeaus about the genesis of the  cosmos.  When that quote comes up in my mind there always follows all the things Plato said about the psyche, the way he bowed reverently to other cultures and pointed his audience to the source of the wisdom he was sharing.

There is a form of existence which does not experience birth or death, and it is that from which all forms of existence originate.  It is always.  Opinions and beliefs are born and grow to maturity through experience and wane until they have morphed into new ones.  The truth is always unchanging, always there ready for us to find it.

 

Mercury and Venus meet Saturn and Pluto

Two heavy line ups this week and the first one peaks today.  Mercury will be conjunct Saturn late afternoon here in Raleigh.  Quick Mercury on the tight inside track will over take sure and slow Saturn in the sign of the arrow, Sagittarius.  We see Sagittarius on the midheaven when the ecliptic reaches its lowest dip in a bowl under the celestial equator (kind of like an imaginary projection of earth's waistline projected into the sky).  The ecliptic is the planetary highway.  Well, maybe we should picture a highway in New York City; planets, as a rule, weave above and below the main drag and the locals seem oblivious to the apparent chaos. 

But I'm letting wild traffic patterns distract me from repeating the story of why Mercury, Saturn (and Sun too! It just entered Sag a day or two ago) are seen at the bottom of the bowl. ... We see the Sagittarius section of the highway low because we are reaching the top of our daily revolution on Earth's tilted axis.

That's actually a cavalier use of the word 'see'-  we can't 'see' Mercury or Saturn because they are only 15degrees from the Sun.  They are little lights hidden in the shadow of an olympian photon tree.  But we do see the Sun low in the sky when it is in the sign of the shooting arrow.

My favorite 2 Earth events to mark this celestial lineup of communication (Mercury) and restraint (Saturn) are-

 1st the discovery and expensive repair of a dangeous electrical problem which had been developing right before my eyes ever since the tornado several years ago loosened the power service line to my house.    The electrician barely controlled his consternation at my obvious stupidity.  I was seriously humbled.  How could I have let set a consequential drooping power line slip from my mind? 

 Maybe an urgent obsession to learn everything I can before I lose the physical capacity to clean houses.  Astrology has graduated from hobby status to planned retirement income.  I was searching for answers to satisfy my curiosity, now it feels more like an intellectual race for survival.  So this Mercury Saturn meet up in Sagittarius helped me see how the drive for what we think is essential can pull focus from matters of grave consequence.  We normally think of Aries as the sign of battle, but Sagittarius is like being in one side or the other of a sniper's scope, the attention is so fiercely concentrated that all surrounding events are effectively ignored. 

The 2nd Earth event is much lighter, I was such a data hog this month, the first time I have ever done this, I went over my data limit and will get slow data till Nov 26. 

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Well I reckon I have also exceeded my quota of reader patience, definitely not the first time for that!  Does anyone wonder about the significance of the Twins (Gemini is opposite Sagittarius) if the arrow calls attention to a hidden high point?  What does a pair of twins have to do with reaching the low point?  

I thought you might be wondering.  Well, it never works out, I always get waylaid by life stuff, but maybe this week will be different.  Maybe I can make a post explaining the celestial mechanics of the Twins to celebrate Venus lining up with Pluto in Capricorn.

I rarely post to alert friends of celestail events.  I am a little candle compared to the info available on thousands of commercial sites.  I also do not outline the many events unfolding around me that I associate with what's unfolding in the sky.  This has been a worrisome week in many other ways and there are many other cycles unfolding while this moment of worry holds attention.  

Though you can't see them in the sky, you can easily locate Mercury next to Saturn in the chart below.  They are in the pie slice on the left, below the horizon labled '2.'  Saturn looks like an 'h' with a line through the top part.  That symbol is actually a combination of the cross of physical existence over the crescent of the soul.  Mercury is right next to Saturn.  It is like Venus with a little Moon hat.  The red arrow, in the section they currently occupy with the Sun, stands for Sagittarius.

Super Sensible

This is a post from yesterday that I am finally figuring out how to publish.

America is back, not the continent, my old friend.  I am reading Rudolph Steiner, good medicine for emotional times.  He taps away with the physician's hammer encouraging us to develop a rigorous understanding of what lies behind emotions and knee jerk reactions to sensory experiences.  He describes the spiritual thought process as including a consideration of many circumstances leading up to and away from an emotional event.  He uses the term super sensible to indicate that it is an intelectual process that is above and beyond immediate reactions.  Yesterday I could only think of all my knee jerk reactions with dismay; luckily I have been on this path for a while and focused on what I knew and trusted to be good and true- breathing, friendship, and the yoga sutras of patanjali.

This morning Koala, as they call my old friend, is back.  We had a brief exchange about the election results.  She remarked on the people in the streets shouting and waving Trump placards.  Her friends all want to know if she is ready.

We both agree, after our wild emotional ride in July that now is a time to chill, seriously get that balance going forward so we can meet the future with integrity.  She is being super sensible when it really counts.

Venus in the diplomatic end of Sagittarius was rising when she showed up this morn.  Back in July when we blew up and parted ways, Venus was in Leo rising every day like the cock's crow right before Jupiter in Virgo- leonine kindness meeting its fate with a training opportunity.  The posts in July and August document events surrounding the fireworks.

Any bodies in fire signs, including Saturn still in Sagittarius for another year, add their own special heat to the revolutionary bonfire of Uranus in Aries.  For years I read about social revolutions and wondered if and how one would come to my homeland in my lifetime.  I asked my friend Bob what he thought was the best way to prepare.  If I remember right he said, after his usual thoughtful pause,  he was offering rhe best suggestion he could think of in response to my request for advice, "get to know your neighbors."

Now, as Koala is preparing to move back in, Venus is past its fateful meeting with both Jupiter and Saturn.  Kindness has met with both opportunity and limits, and has a new concept of possibilities.

Between the Sun and Galactic Plane

Not exactly under the Sun, more like a fishing line cast from a bridge that makes an angle with the water instead of going straight down.  The ecliptic is almost standing on its edge, but not quite; the part near the galactic plane leans away from Orion and the upper part leans toward it.

When I get my pc hooked to the net I'll post some of the helpful graphics I have found on astronomy sites.  For now I want to call attention to this section of our cycle before we get too far past it.   It is a bit like a galactic solstice, only in that we are at our tropical ( which means turning) point with respect to the galactic plane.  I think it was actually yesterday afternoon we turned from going down toward the plane to the upward half of the cycle.

And the COOLEST  thing to me is that this is what the constellations from 2,500 years ago are all about.  Cetus the sea monster is crossing the mid heaven when we are looking down into the lower dome of the Milky Way.  So f-ing cool.

Happy day after galactic turning point.

Patience

This is a continuation of the previous  post called Passion and here is a link to a related post from way back in 2011 when this blog was young- The Importance of the Moon in Astrology.
At the bottom I will put a chart for the 2 or so days after the Passion essay.  I don't remember why I did a chart for that moment.  I think that's the day I looked up the word passion and was struck by the intimate relationship it has with patience.  I do associate the Moon in Taurus with patience and I can recall trying to finish the essay on passion but feeling that I had lost courage.  I remember writing that the urge to record my thoughts had dissipated and I felt like a dog wanting to retreat, tail between my legs, but that Taurus determination kept me from abandoning what I had begun.
Then, a few days later I tried again.

The only reason I can remember why I did the chart with the Moon in Cancer is I changed the title.  I felt the whole process of completing this post slipping from my control and had the fore thought to name the chart for the moment that inspired me to get it from Astrodienst-I typed  Parmenides in the box for the name.  I had looked up the Greek word doxa which translates as opinion or judgment.  I wanted to refresh my understanding of the term.  All the concepts in these two posts, Passion and Patience, have been floating around in my thoughts since that night 9 days ago when the Moon in Aries was lining up with Uranus.  Now that the Moon is in Leo I feel that a bouquet of language is finally ready to come from nature's magic hat.

I have a book from the local university library called Greek Philosophical Terms: A Historical Lexicon by F.E.Peters.  It is only about 240 pages, but very useful in studying Plato, and other Greek philosophers from the same  period.   It is in fact organized as a lexicon, with Greek terms listed in alphabetical order and as little as a paragraph,  for instance katalepsis: grasping, apprehension has only 5 lines; or as many as three pages as under the heading nous: intelligence, intellect, mind.  Each word entry includes references to philosophers who defined the term in their works.  So under doxa I found a reference to Parmenides a preSocratic philosopher.  The problem with most Greek philosophers before Plato and Socrates is that we have very scanty samples of their writing, mostly through quotes from later writers.  We do have at least several pages from Parmenides though, and I went surfing to find them.

That chart is for the moment I began reading the English translation of his On Nature, or at least fragments of what remains.  It was much too short, but very satisfying to read what Plato had obviously studied and to relate it to his ideas as well as concepts outlined in old Vedic literature and the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.  It was thrilling to be transported back almost 3,000 years to the ideas that people were sharing between various cultures.

I have come to anticipate these deeply satisfying moments of study whenever Mercury is slowing down to a station, not as a right, or something due to me, but as a gift that has come on such a regular basis that I can hardly help looking forward to it.   I dare not expect it, but the hope is always present when I see the numbers getting smaller and smaller in the Mercury column of the ephemeris indicating that it is slowing down in its apparent motion compared to Earth.  Customers will 'not be ready' and I will be happily engaged with my other work, becoming familiar with the roots of western astrology.

So the 2nd chart in this post with the Moon in Cancer goes with that thrill of finally reading the words of Parmenides.  I won't talk more about that chart here, I am just including it as a reference for future studies of similar astrological moments.

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What was really important to me about the Aug 22 chart in the Passion post was the Moon just crossing the line from Venus's 7th house of partnership to its 8th house of intimacy.  When that memory came it was like a thunderbolt from a blue sky.  I had felt the rumblings all day but they were distant and more distracting than disturbing.  The real storm had passed and I was focused on getting myself back on a balanced footing.

That memory of my customer leading me to the guest bed, and bringing a cold rag for my head transported me almost violently to a time when I had no understanding of what life meant to me,  and in spite of all the study and searching felt as bereft of an answer as ever.  I do remember very clearly, as I received the kindness and understanding I had longed for from Marlene, realizing what seemed like an awful truth, that it would not after all change a thing.

How many times I had read in astrology books, under the heading 'Scorpio' that here we learn only after we get what we want, that it will not satisfy.  There it was.  And Marlene is a Scorpio Sun.  Over the years she was the one customer who did not erect barriers of polite conversation as a way of censoring my accounts of drug and sex adventures.  She was then and still is one of my most intimate friends.  She gave me the kindness my mother could not extend,  understanding as only a mature Scorpio mother can, that we have to choose our family.  Even with an adopted child that a mother has taken the trouble go out in the world and prove to the community she is responsible and worthy to care for as her own, even such a strong bond has to be chosen anew at every turn if the love is to be completely honest.  Scorpio love is not Hallmark love.  It is a fierce, conditional love.  

As a child with a Scorpio Moon I had to choose my mother and I respected the ways my given mother chose to love me.   I have understood this for many years now, but on the day that memory was created that understanding was not yet a part of my knowledge base.  I still had intense shame for leaving my family and dreaded every family holiday.  Mothers could spot me, mothers of friends especially- and reached out to me like an adorable kitten without a home.  But I was skittish and avoided the generous overtures.

Marlene was different because she was a customer and she laughed at my misadventures.  She fearlessly remarked on the underlying motives and we laughed at them together.  Shame for her was a boogey monster that had to be exposed for its manipulative function.  We had that in common.  And as a member of my mother's generation she had first hand experience of the boogey monsters that my mother wrestled with.  My mother was very much against ERA, and I really needed an example from her generation to balance my inherited view of the struggle for women's rights.
 
These are the themes, of daughters and mothers choosing one another, and how I did that with my customers, how I grew to womanhood in the homes of women from my mother's generation, that I expected to cover in this blog before my passion for astrology took it over.  That memory and the planet of motherhood,  the Moon, in feisty Aries just exactly crossing the line from fulfillment with Venus to intimate understanding of what comes after fulfillment, which is the truth that there is always a new desire on the other side, as well as something lost.  We never have a desire fulfilled without losing the innocent opinion of what its fulfillment will mean to us.  We reach for love and cannot know until we receive it, what love really is.

That memory was like a jolt of electricity from the Aries Moon.....a surface view of the chart would immediately pick up on the undercurrent of the Moon lining up with Uranus, the planet keeled over on its side like a hip hop dancer spinning on her back instead of using her feet as any traditional dancer should; but a closer Scorpio look, as an examination under a microscope, or through binoculars at the sky, because we are that curious, we don't want to miss a detail if there is a tool handy to help us get a closer look, or as with a language specifically developed to describe celestial mechanics, with that concentrated focus the Moon's momentary relationship with Venus in Virgo the sign of service and apprenticeship is clearly evident.  It is a flash of just a few pivotal minutes captured in the memory and the chart.

"Yes," I thought to myself, "this is what I meant to write about and still intend to write about."  And I opened the little Blogger app for androids.  I typed Passion in the heading and now here I am 9 days later finishing what I began.

As I was working on this post I kept recalling the movie "The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne",  so I looked that up last night.  I remember going to watch it with my old boyfriend, the one who was raging at his boss in the last post.  It was so depressing, and horrifying the way I identified with Judith, especially when she went to visit with the family on Sunday that was her only social contact.  It was strange for macho slut Moustache Mary to be secretly feeling her life was being played out in the character of a pious spinster.  But there had been a time when my life circle was very limited and bound by Catholicism and those years will always be a part of me.  I did feel thankful when I left the theater for having left that circle.  I knew I would rather feel lost outside the circle than trapped within it.  That urge to exit the circle can be associated with Uranus, the first modern planet to be acknowledged after hundreds of years with the longest recognized cycle in our solar system being limited to 28 year Saturn.

Passion

This is the first of 2 posts that go together and it was inspired by a sudden flash of a memory from more than20 years ago.
The chart for the moment the memory came is at the bottom.

I was feeling passionate, in bed I thought for the night.  The cloud cover was thick but I had seen Jupiter and Venus at the thin openings along the horizon at sunset.  I had been reading about the brain and how memories are no more accurate than the last time we recall them, because they are colored with new associations each time they pass back and forth between the hippocampus in the heart of the brain and the surrounding cortex.

I was thinking about the dangers of perfect solitude, now that I finally live with no other humans in the house.  Not even a dog to sniff me and let me know she needs to go out.  A few cats that I put outside as soon as I tire of their affection.   "Yes," I thought, "it is good to have the interruptions and outside input."

I was on my back but not practicing breathing or focusing on any object.  I was caught up in filling out the allegory that had sprung up in my imagination of a culture where music was just one note.  There were several numbers or letters for different notes in succession, which could be arranged in various patterns, but no matter the number or letter that named them, each note sounded exactly alike.

I imagined what people would say about this kind of music when someone suggested using different sounds for different notes- "People who can't hold the note want to imitate birds and other sounds of nature.  They want to elevate discarded superstitious practices and celebrate them as edifying pursuits.  It is nothing but a lack of self control which they want us to accept as art.  True art is an exercise in free will and no  civilized human being with the power of free will should choose to mimic nature when the true path is clearly in developing the ability to follow the one note born of the past and bearing our minds on the one guiding wave to the glorious future."

I was getting pretty worked up as I turned the possible dialogue over in my mind.  I wanted to make people see how strange life is for someone who follows time according to the planets instead of the uniform days on calendars and hours on clocks.  That such a person is neither a peer of astrological forecasters nor of the people who look to clocks for order in the human journey.  I wanted people to see how beautiful organic time is compared to clock time and how sad it is that so few care to follow it.

When I started thinking about writing this post the  emotion was allowed to build.  I could see myself feeling more and more like a misunderstood, underappreciated outsider.  The Moon was not visible, but I could see its symbol a mere 4 degrees behind Uranus in the chart.  I calculated - roughly 8 hours and they would be lined up.  Looking at those two symbols lining up in the section marked with the red Aries glyph was calming.  I was thinking about the step in becoming where the self is exalted.  Not the capital S self that the yogis talk about reaching when we let go of our ego, but the lower case s self that is associated with the body in which we find our souls to currently exist.
 
All day I was adjusting to the utter peace of solitude and drifting from one task to another, or to periods of study.  Meditation kept coming up as a possibility, and then I would feel really tired and head for the comfort of my bed.  Nothing was important until sunset when I knew I only had 20 minutes to catch Jupiter and Venus if they were not behind the clouds.  Then I was moving and rode that momentum to go off in my car and do an errand in the fresh darkness of a new night.

The music on the radio was better than usual to me and I went past my house for an extra errand to enjoy being out and listening to that airwave coming from Scotland via Chapel Hill.  I went to the grocery store and listened to the music in the parking lot.  I felt so free with no immediate worries or responsibilities.
 
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My old boyfriend had called during my afternoon nap.  I wasn't asleep. I spend a lot of time in bed, saving up precious thyroid hormones and slowing down my breathing.  My old boyfriend was upset.  A rude customer had called his boss at the taxi station and reported that my old boyfriend had been rude.  That customer should have heard the torrent of foul language I was treated to.  I laughed and thought of the Moon in Aries.   He continued to curse and apologize and I laughed some more.  The boss wants to turn the taxi business into a more professional operation.   My boyfriend born on the one day every two years when we see Mars closest to Pluto (back then in Virgo the sign of service), will have nothing to with this professional bullshit.  No sir.  He will not play that game.  He is frothing.   And I am laughing.  I get to play Venus.  I listen and think of all these astrological associations, enjoy his outrageous sense of humor and laugh at his delightful turns of phrase as he vents his rage.   He is one very underappreciated entertainer and I am only occasionally fed up with his need for an audience.

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Something felt strange about the whole day to me, as though I was just a bit off the rails.  There was no one else to see it and with my old boyfriend doing such a great job of being misunderstood I didn't have the heart to go in that direction.  Who wants to follow the path of righteousness when the raging bull is clearly seen and heard tearing up the tracks within a few paces after the pleasure of feeling correct?

So that imaginary dialogue between a follower of organic sound as allegory for a follower of organic time made me think it was time for bed.  I had worked in the yard, done some good studying, completed errands and witnessed two planets sinking behind the clouds on the western horizon.  Aimless as I felt, the day had not been unproductive, and I certainly would not pursue a righteous vision of the solitary planet watcher.

Being slightly unfocused much of the day was actually not surprising.  Two of Mr. Lyrica's brothers are visiting from Ireland and I had gone over to meet them in the morning.  I always have Mr. Lyrica on my mind for at least 24 hours after we spend time together, and this short visit with some of his family naturally made an even deeper impression.   I kept turning over in my mind the things we had said and smiling each time I recalled the selfie stick we used to take a group photo.  I went over concerns that we all share but can't yet speak of openly as a group.  Though this all seemed natural I still felt there was some under current pulling on my attention that I could not identify.

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I felt like I was just coming out of a dazed shock from the outburst a few weeks ago when the Moon was in Leo.  I had gotten over repeating the events in my mind and was adjusting to the reality that America was really gone.   She called me in the evening and apologized for not coming by to pick up her bed and other remaining possessions.   She would try to come by Monday and also leave the last key which we had both forgotten about.  Okey dokey.  Como quieras.  Absolutely not a problem.  No one has been drinking beer, listening to loud music and smoking pot in the front yard for a week now.  I have no complaints.  America sounds happy too, she is moving on to the next success in her life.
   
The storm seemed so unnecessary at the time.  I was shocked at my behavior as well as hers.  It all seemed like a strange manifestation of the profound heartbreak she was suffering because her daughter in Mexico had left home and moved in with her boyfriend.  America had been yelling at her on the video calls "if you're old enough to get married without my consent you are old enough to pay for school."   And the daughter took the leap.
  
Two years left in college, all the money America had been sending to Mexico for bus fare, books, uniforms, field trips, food....all it seemed so she could hitch up with a classmate and become a tethered woman just like all the other suffering Mexican women.  Our troubles only seemed absurd when I forgot about her daughter.  And the people abducted on a regular basis for ransom.  The young men in their 20's threatened with murder if they refuse to join gangs that deal in drugs and kidnapping.  It wasn't such a difficult storm to explain when I considered the pressure she lives with.

But I can't remember which thoughts led to the memory of being led to the bed at my customer's house many years ago and having a cold rag placed on my head.  Suddenly, like Bam! It was there.  I was there.  My customer was there, in the room with the blue carpet and the white curtains, with shades that were not all bent and tangled, but straight and even and regularly dusted by the well paid housecleaner Moustache Mary.

I've been working on this post all morning and wish I could recall the thoughts immediately preceding that Bam! Memory.

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Last week I stumbled on a very helpful tidbit of information in one of the books I'm reading about the brain.   They had side by side views of a brain imaged when the area "concerned with binding emotions and thoughts" is active and when "the skeptical brain sparks up on the edge of the insula."  They went on in the caption to say "the insula is sensitive to things which are 'disgusting'  - suggesting that falsehood is treated much like an unhealthy substance which the body wants to reject."  it was in one of those boxes publishers use these days to highlight a concept.  The box was labeled Belief and Non-Belief.  "The scans suggested that, although many of the 'high cognition' parts of the brain are likely to be involved in assessing the truth-value of a statement, the final acceptance of a statement as 'true' or its rejection as 'false', seems to rely more on primitive, emotional areas."

Wow.   I put the book down and walked from room to room after I read that.  I remembered seeing the look of disgust on a customer's face when I asked to do the charts of her family members.  She couldn't hide the instinctive eeyoo look of the the raised upper lip trying to prevent a foul odor from entering the nose.
 
I thought she was young and hip.  She didn't believe Jesus rose from the dead, but she sent her kids to a church day care.  My husband had taken us down that same path.  He hated Christianity but needed subsidized day care.  My customer was actually a church member, much like my father, who was very open minded but saw churches as community organizations whose believe systems were to be tolerated.  You pay your dues, go to mass every Sunday, and when you get in a scrape you can knock on any parish door and expect the priest to help you.  It was as simple as that.

But modern textbooks don't include a paragraph condemning the superstition of a political prisoner rising from the dead.  The universal paragraph to be found in most every science text book explains why astrology is superstition and must not be confused with science.  We are not taught in public schools that the Christian story is a myth.  We are however told that astrology is a trick on fools.
 
And so it made sense that my suggestion caught my customer off guard and she could not conceal the fact that it was to her like a cockroach had hopped from somewhere on my person and darted across her kitchen counter.  Skepticism associated in the brain with disgust.  What a revelation that was to me.

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The funny thing is it was a week after the upsetting event that I was in that customer's guest bed with her placing a cool rag over my head.  I had told the same story to another customer a day or two earlier without a sniffle or rising tempest of having been profoundly wronged.  But here in Marlene's house I blubbered and felt weak with convulsive crying.
 
It doesn't take brain books to know the power strong emotions  have to fix an event in the memory.
 
I had taken the 3 hour drive down to Brunswick County to visit my mother.  It turned out she was in the middle of a crisis while I was there.  The second day of my visit I heard her talking on the phone to my older brother in Florida and already had a good picture of the situation.  She was sending money to him for a lawyer to represent him in court to retain custody of his daughter.  When she got off the phone she explained that the wife was being convicted for stealing drugs from the hospital where she worked and was going into drug rehab.

"Well, that sounds like something they have in common."  Yes.   I do believe that's exactly what I said.  It is hard to imagine saying anything more foolishly provocative, but that's my best recall.

My mother did not need to be reminded at that moment of all the years of heartache and disappointments she had endured in my adventurous brother's long and colorful illegal drug career.  For me he was a pirate hero I could never hope to equal.   For her he was the son who vacillated between petty criminal low life friends and the respectable path.

I grew up hearing every woman he fell in love with referred to as a slut.  I could not control my sense of righteous anger that yet another woman attached to him was being demonized.  The immature feminist in me darted out and lunged for my mother's most vulnerable spot-  the need to insure continued access to her only grandchild.

Her reaction took a few minutes to gather force as it cycled through the years of recriminating exchanges.  "This is fine," I thought.  "I can weather this storm.  I am no longer afraid of her.  She will rage on and get it out of her system and then she will calm down."  But I had not considered my father in the equation.  He had no desire to let the storm play out.  Any moment she could turn on him with accusations about alcoholism.  He wanted me to leave.  He wasn"t angry.  He just said, "You better leave."  Like it was the sensible thing to do.  We have all been through these tirades and I had been away for so many years for that very reason, I had forgotten how violent my mother could get.

"I'm not leaving,"  I said calmly.  "This is my house."  Not sure where I got that idea.  It was my first visit 'home' in years.. I always felt like an intruder on the rare occasions when I went back.

He moved to approach me and escort me from the house.
"No!"  She yelled in panic.  "Don't touch her.   She'll have the police on us.  You'll be in court for assault.  You call the police before she does!"

I can see where most people would question the wisdom of my actions.  I must admit I don't see them as wise.  But at the time I felt like the presence of police could be a help.  It seemed like they were the one hope of bringing some calm to her storm and I wanted to be there on the other side.   I really thought it was an opportunity to move past old hurts and leave them behind.

So I waited.  Well, when they arrived I was told I had to leave.  The officer stood by and monitored my every action as I retrieved my suitcase and a few other items to my car.  Among them was a bag of bulk tea which she asked about.

"Is that Marijuana?"   I was taken aback. 
"It's tea.  Do you want to smell it?"
"Yes please."
What a very strange encounter.
I think the step I am about to recount reveals that I was not as concerned about getting past old hurts as I was in wrestling respect from my parents.  On the way back to Raleigh I stopped in the county sheriff's office and asked if I had grounds to bring my mother to court for verbal assault.  I don't remember the response, just that I was obsessed with 'justice'.
So in the middle of recounting all this foolishness to Marlene I began sobbing and blubbering.  I knew I was really home, or as close to it as I would ever get.  And it wasn't so much because Marlene cared about me as it was that I knew she also cared about my mother.  She understood the hurt that both my mother and I felt and did not see either of us as blameworthy. 
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When I began this blog 6 years ago I had recently been diagnosed and treated for Grave's Disease.  My thyroid was visibly swollen and I had been exhibiting symptoms for years.  It was Marlene's husband who explained why I could not tolerate heat and mentioned very casually that once I got my thyroid checked out I would start wearing a sweater in the cold temperatures. 
I had been living with an over active thyroid for many years, so even though I was determined to be one of the people that gets back up to speed in a year and certainly not one that would take 10 years to get my life straight, the problems just kept shape shifting.  If there wasn't pain there was intense unbearable anxiety or profound fatigue.  I had time to write a blog when I cut back on my cleaning schedule.  This link goes to the continuation of this essay - Patience

Mars under Acrab on way to Saturn

Last night was the first clear night since Mars was a pinky width west of Acrab.  In the mostly clear Caraleigh sky (just south of Raleigh's city center) it is one of the first objects visible at sunset along with slightly fainter Saturn a few fingers east.  Antares, below and between the two planets is also fairly bright.  But Acrab, now just above Mars is pretty faint.  If skies are clear again tonight Mars should still be only a hair to the east passing under Acrab. While we see Mars passing a couple of degrees below the ecliptic, Acrab hovers just a tad above it.  So maybe tonight we'll get another chance to see the bright red planet near the fainter star above it .

Mars has been hanging around Saturn since April.  We haven't seen the planet of blind action spend so much time near the planet of integrity since April-August 1984.  That protracted meeting took place after the action hero had overtaken the elder.  This time around the adrenalin soaked actor is lingering on its way to meet the sober one.  It reminds me of the shoe shiner and his escort/guard in Things Change, at the dinner and hotel before being turned over to the 'justice system.'  The actor is moving toward a meeting with authority but there are delays and regressions along the way. 

In the end of March we saw Mars rise less than an hour before Saturn every day.  As Mars appeared to fall behind the philosophical reaper (Saturn is in Sagittarius these days) the time between their rising spread out a bit, giving us a little more time to digest the action of Mars before the consequential ringed planet appeared.

Now as Mars is finally on its way to the 25 month performance review with Saturn, in which it will also receive a new set of marching orders, we see Saturn rising closer on the heals of Mars every day.  

Saturn will also get a report from Mars, they will inspire one another, it will be a fresh start for the pair by the end of August.  Right now though, the suspense that was dormant, is building.  What will come of the deferred line up?

Mercury is passively ruling most of the planets in the solar system, including Mars and Saturn.  It is in Virgo!  Fidelity to details ruling over such a loaded meeting is hard to imagine and kind of meaningless until the meeting takes place.  But there the words are for us to return to and recall as the actual event unfolds.

And look where the Moon will be....

The 4 charts after this one show Mars rising 48min before Saturn in March and then a more leisurely 1hr29min spread in June.

Saturn Suspension

Saturn will be in the same minute of the same degree for the next 8 days.  It is stationary now, and when it moves again it will change direction from backward motion to forward.  The pivot occurs this Friday night.  Right now my housemate of many years is moving out and knowing about Saturn's movement is a strange comfort.  It has been a long time since I thought deeply of Boethius and Consolation of Philosophy.  Now it is at the front and center of my mind.

I am wondering over and over about my temper and pondering the future.  I'm worried about whether I am failing a good friend of many years.  I'm recalling our years together....

Saturn is the planet of integrity.  I was introduced to astrology over 20 years ago by a customer.  When she used the word integrity in association with Saturn I was always a bit put out.  What does that mean?  I would think to myself with a snort of irritation.

It means past, present and future are seen as one.  It means seeing how our actions affect the world around us and acknowledging those connections.  Within the 27+ year cycle of Saturn we see how life evolves and how we as individuals gradually change according to our experiences, how we are held fast in the web of time and space more certainly than the most enduring buildings designed and built by people of great genius, and ambition for humanity.

Saturn is a serious planet.  Its symbol is the cross of existence over the crescent of the soul.  The progressed Moon moves just a shade faster than transiting Saturn.  When we compare these two cycles, the development (or as they say in Spanish desarollando-unfolding.....like a gift being unwrapped or a seed rolling out its magic miracle) the development of an individual soul on Earth compared to the trials that particular soul is destined to face as Earth wheels around within the confines of Saturn's wide orbit....this is the significance of Saturn.

Then there's Jupiter.  It was rising this morning as my old friend was packing her things.  She sounded angry, but happy too, as though she is ready to be free of me and move on to other possibilities, as though she sees something good in the future for herself by taking this step.  The crescent of the soul ruling over the cross of existence is Jupiter.  Its cycle is 12 years.  We have known each other a little bit longer than that.  This moment in our lives is filled with memories and uncertainty.

But I love that when worry circles in my mind like the ghost of some rejected traveller crossing an ancient plain that stretches for hundreds of miles with scarce food or shelter, when worry scratches at the door repeatedly, I look at Saturn, in the chart, and tonight in the dark sky and feel the consolation of philosophy.

Hoping to See Mars Meet Acrab

Last night I think it was too cloudy, but Tues night Mars was only a thin index finger west of faint Acrab.  Acrab is not terribly faint, but Antares a bit lower under the ecliptic is much brighter.  i can see all three from dowtown Raleigh at first dark, as well as Saturn.  
You can see in the chart that Saturn is east of Mars-  it is also east of Acrab.

They are all on the midheaven at sunset, just face south and you can see Saturn, then faint Acrab and bright Mars.  Bright Antares is below the others.  
I haven't looked at any  astronomy sites, so I'm not sure, but i think Mars should pass a few degrees under Acrab tonight or tomorrow.

Mars went direct at the very end of June and is really picking up speed- it is up to 23 minutes a day and gaining steadily.  

I have been run ragged with emergency projects and worry but still there is something exciting about the sense of accomplishment, both in mundane affairs and friendships.  It isalso a real thrill to see Mar's movement so clearly from one night to the next because of that fixed star as a reference so near the ecliptic.

Though Mars is really moving, and Saturn is still retro, the hero will not catch up to the authoirty figure till Aug 24.  

Somehow i expect time will continue to fly as Mars keeps chugging away.  i can't see more projects in my life now, so it is hard to imagine.  i just look at that bright red light setting earlier and earlier each night and think of dying will.  can Mars go gently?   as we swing around toward the far side of the Sun from the red planet what urges will drive us on while the competitor is still, for just awhile longer, near?

After Midnight Moonrise

I'll begin with the 3 pothead brothers who were working on my old roof and inherited my sons Trailmate recliner tricycle.  I did not like them coming over the last several weeks begging Koala for money to buy pot, insisting that she treat them to beer.  She was drinking and smoking after work instead of resting, and I knew she had a lot of worries about her daughter in Mexico.  I became visibly uptight when I discovered all 3 of them on the roof with her.

The previous week she had gotten up there to repair a leak that returned in her room during the big rain.  The whole roof was rotten she said.  She was going to replace it a section at a time.   Ugh.  So we went to the building supply store and ordered a pallet of shingles, nails, and roofing paper. 

Yes, I thought, Mars is marching forward again toward its meeting with Saturn.  I swung between gratitude and worry.  Her way of working was not jiving with what I got from the supply sales people.  How long would it take for possible problems to manifest?  Would the wood be rotting before we realized there should have been new paper under those shingles instead of leaving the old?

The materials were to be delivered the day we ordered them, but they had not set a time.  She had the day off and wanted to remove shingles but waited because of the possibility of rain.  The brothers showed up and she had them doing yard work.  The oldest had cut half the Irises and the decorative vines around the mailbox and beside the front stoop 3 weeks earlier.  It took me awhile to figure it out.  The yard seemed different.  "Hmm.  America has never cut the Irises before.  I wonder what happened to the mailbox plant?  Did she not like the plant beside the stoop?" 

The next week when we were both out in the front she asked if I noticed what had been cut and gave me the back story.  The 18 year old kept begging for $10 to buy pot.  "You still haven't paid me the money I loaned you last week!"  And she put him to work with the weed eater.  From the looks of the yard he really enjoyed using that power tool.  The day after I found out what happened to all the plants, America was at work and I was home resting.  There was a soft knock on the door.  Plant Eater wondered if I could loan him $10.  We had a little conversation.  I learned his name.  I told him I would not give him money.  I told him America was a woman who had learned a lot in life and if he treated her with respect she would be a good friend.  "Ohh!  I treat him with lots of respect.  Total respect!"  All in Spanish.  I corrected him on the pronoun.  "Es ella.  No es el.  Ella es una mujer."  He knew.  They all know she is a woman. And they all refer to her with the pronoun for males.  "Yo se!  Yo se ella es mujer!  Y la trato con todo respeto!"

"Good.  I'm not giving you any money."

"Ok.  But my mom really needs it for medicine,"  he said amiably and walked off.

I learned in that conversation how old he was and why he wasn't working.  He was in the middle of a court case trying to get disability coverage from a roofing accident when he was 16.  His eye was messed up and his hand.

These were the impressions coloring my thoughts as I wondered about this roofing project and noticed lots of stomping around over my head, and voices.  There was more than one pair of feet up there.  Soon there was a soft knock on the front door.  It was the oldest brother.  Though he doesn't speak English I was beginning to realize that the two younger brothers do..  "Koala says she needs un martillo," he seemed to be telling me America wanted the hammer.  She is banging away up there yet still I'm not putting the puzzle together.  I search inside and out, but cannot find it.  I go to the back and holler up to her, "no lo encuentro!"

That's ok she says, she'll come down and find it.   And I climb the ladder to confirm what she is saying, my Spanish sucks and I'm never sure what's going on, and see the bros on the roof.  The youngest is 13.   That's when my inner pendulum reversed and built new momentum from gratitude toward worry. 

Only two hours earlier, before the arrival of the delivery guy with the long platform tracter trailer truck and the fork lift on the back to lift and deposit the pallet of shingles, I was so proud of myself.  I knew better and told myself to chill.  The Brother without English had the weed whacker again.  He was all over the yard like an energizer bracero and I felt happy for him and America, until I noticed he wasn't wearing sun glasses.  America was trimming a bush.  "Why isn't he wearing eye protection?"

"I told him to and he wouldn't listen," she said.

I hollered over the fence.  "Hey!"  He turned it down and looked up.  Happy young man.  "Que?!" 

"You do not work here without eye protection.  Absolutely not.!"

As I turned to go back inside I noticed America smiling.

I call that the pendulum swing toward self delusion.  Oh, how sure I was that things were coming under control.  He headed back to the garage and got the glasses.  It was 11am July 22.  The Moon was in the Aries dodec of Pisces but it was passing through the 6th house of service.

It was 12:00 and the Moon was in the 5th house of children when I climbed the ladder and realized the scary truth.  I felt like one of the parents in "Geek Love" whose carny offspring were taking the show to a whole new level.

"It's ok," they kept repeating as I told them they must not be on the roof.  During the exchange I was aware they were repeating the lines of the script Mexicans use with safety obsessed gringos.  "It's ok," go back to your computer.  They were not even looking at each other but I knew they were in league.  That America had already told them not to worry.  How many times did I watch my brother tell my mom he was taking out the trash and it stayed right there in the kitchen.  "I'm doing it!" he would yell in an insulted tone.  If she would only quit bugging him about it he could quit watching the show on tv and get it done.  She was such a pain.   But his patience was exemplary.

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The roof is finished thanks to America's determination.  I think once she got up there and started the job she was seized with a strong urge to get it over with, and the kids just kept pestering her for money or to buy them beer.  I took the 13 year old with me to buy Subway late that 1st afternoon and asked him about his brother.

He was born here but since his mom couldn't find a good baysitter while she worked she sent him to live with family in
Mexico.  He came  back north when he was 16, ran away from home, got a job roofing, fell off a 4 story roof and was in a coma.  Now they are waiting to resolve the court case.


When they came back the next day I texted my son and asked if they could have the old Trailmate.  It has been in a pile of bike parts in the corner of the garage for years and I wasn't sure what it would take to get it going again, but the oldest boy had asked America if they could buy it.  "Take it," he texted back, releasing it from the sooty corner of the garage.  

Thursday July 28, almost a week after America started on the roof, i was finishing up a big house at about 6:30pm when I got a call from Nurse G.  The AC was out and she needed me to have Mr. Lyrica over to spend the night.  America had been working out of town all week, so things had calmed down again and it was a wonderful little slumber party.  His wife took him out to lunch the next day with their 2 children and we all enjoyed a short visit.  We cooked a nice dinner and had a quiet meal together, just the two of us, and I took  him home to his nice cool townhouse at 8:30.

 
That Friday night I felt really relaxed.  Mixed in with all the worry about boys falling off my roof and future leaks, there were the joys of the unexpected visit with Mr. Lyrica and seeing the underaged potheads riding around on the resurrected Trailmate.  They had pulled it up to the neighborhood gas station and filled all 3 flat  tires with air.  To my amazement they all held up.  The chain kept coming off the sprocket but they quickly figured out how to finagle it back on and were all over the neighborhood.  

It is true that within 48 hours of getting the tires inflated both were flat and had been discarded.  When I asked if they wanted to wait till we could get a new tube, they waved me off, "It's ok!" and rode down the gravel driveway and over to the park.  
I hated to see the plastic rims getting chewed up but they sure looked happy flying around at ground level on that yellow contraption.  

The oldest boy did knock on the door one afternnon asking for $10.  He said the guy at the tire place up the street was going to fix it.  Nope.  No money from Donya Maria.  Once again he rode off happily on the chewed up plastic rims. 

Then, Friday night, after dropping off Mr. Lyrica i headed over to the park to get a look at Mars coming to meet Acrab.  In a month Mars will meet Saturn but first it will pass the distant star Acrab situated right along the ecliptic.  For more than a month Mars has been more than 4 fingers west of Acrab, and i wanted to see if we were down to 3 yet.  

There was a car parked over there, but i had been so worn out, or it had been so cloudy, i had not seen the sky for several nights.  i kept right on my path, oilcloth mat under my arm to spread over the damp night grass and binoculars around my neck.  my cats were circling my legs.  they always come over  to protect me.

I heard a man's voice come from the direction of the car.  "aright now."  It was friendly enough, so i felt ok.  I said a quiet "hey" back.  Next thing i know they're starting the car and backing up.  i looked down at my feet to make sure the cats were getting out of the way.   

This happens a lot.  Folks are parked over there at night trying to have a moment of privacy and MP the stargazer comes along and breaks up the party. Sometimes i wait till the car is gone before i go over there.  Well, last Friday night, it wasn't too late, or it didn't seem like it after the little nap i had taken when i got home from dropping off my friend, the guy in the car rolled down his window and started a conversation.  

Or maybe i did.  he just asked if i was ok, then said "oh!  you're lookin at the sky!" when he saw the binoculars.  and not for the first time, i took advantage of a fresh audience.  i pointed to 
Cygnus way over head and told him the story of the boy who kept diving into the river looking for his drowned friend.  the gods turned him into a swan or cygnus.  Nobody knows this i said, we're all lookin at clocks and calendars instead of the sky, but the ancients looked at the sky to tell time.  that story was to help remember that when they saw that constellation over head they were diving down to face the bottom of the galaxy. 

he got all excited.  asked about the north star and if this all had anything to do with the seasons.  so i explained about Cancer the Crab and Capricorn the goat.   "Wow!  Do you know anything about ...?" and i think he asked about the pyramids.  "ooh.  i don't know," i said.  "They are translating so many things in the last 50 years that nobody understood back when everyone thought the Greeks and the Romans knew everything."

and then he started telling the story of Horus and Osiris getting chopped up and his sister collecting the pieces and wrapping him in her dreadlocks!!  i had never heard about the dreadlocks and that being a reference to mummification.  wow.  we were both so excited.  his girlfriend never said a word.  we must have talked for at least 10 or 15 minutes.  he kept saying "you should read about that.  it will change your life."  and i wanted to say i have and it has.  but i started feeling like i was crashing their party.  but for once it was not just me telling what i had discovered.  he was just as eager.  next he was talking about how he gets in trouble and loses friends for what he's about to say.  and he talks about the bible not being written in 
Hebrew.  "it was written in Greek and it was about 
Egyptian teachings."  and i said "the gnostic gospels!"  i never thought of the new testament that way.

we were both rolling over each other with things we wanted to talk about but i was getting really embarrassed about not talking to his girlfriend.  i was trying to think how to excuse myself and the guy said "what's your name?"  Mary 
Pat.  i live over there.  and i pointed to my house.  "you don't get scared out here?" he asked.  well i do.  but im desperate to see the stars and my cats protect me.  during our conversation he had remarked about a white truck that he said kept passing by.  "Well I'm officer __ and this is officer ___"  i did not even catch their names.  "You're fuckin with me!" i said.  "now im gonna feel safe out here and do something stupid!"  he waved goodbye and drove away.

it was 1:19am when i went in and did a chart.  so i guess that conversation started around 1am.  i went back out and watched the old crescent rise.  i looked through my binoculars at so many stars.  it was a beautiful night for it, even in the heart of the city.

Monday morn America's brother came over with his truck and took 3 loads of shingles to the dump.   The brother without English helped him.   his hand was still hurting from a bad scrape he'd gotten when he punched his mom Saturday night.  
They were having some kind of party.  i had noticed the music
Saturday afternoon and wondered who was getting ready for a party.  apparently he had been drinking and she was telling him not to and he punched her and fell down and scraped the palm of his hand.  he was sullen most of Sunday sitting in the front yard hollering "Buey!" to America as she pounded away on the roof.

they don't pronounce the b.  it is 'whey' like the water left from making cottage cheese,  but more forceful.  it means bull or ox and is like "Dude!" or "ese!"  i guess it's like the Mexican cowboy version of 'ese.

when i asked about the sore spot he said something about his jefa, and his little brothers jumped in and said no "it wasn't her fault! she was telling him not to drink cause he's supposed to get a blood test tomorrow." 

Hey

Moon above Mars

Moon is only a few degrees ahead of Mars but it is way above it in tonight's clear sky.  The north node is in Virgo, 2 signs back from Scorpio where Mars is now at 24degrees.  The north node is where Moon crosses above the ecliptic.  They call it the dragon's head because the Moon appears to weave above and below the ecliptic like a snake. 

When the Moon gets to the. 3rd sign from the north node it is at its highest point above the ecliptic.  So tomorrow night, when it is near Saturn in Sagittarius it will also be high above Saturn.

The north node is on the right side of the chart near Jupiter.  They are in the middle of Virgo.  Mars is now a bit further west of MC.

FTD

I really need to go to sleep, but Mercury is flying around the far side of this Cancer Sun and I have to record this incredible night.

I got up at 10:50pm and went out to look at the sky, not expecting much since it's been so humid.  It was great
viewing, so I stayed up a lot later than I should on a work night. 

Now, I am in bed and still feel restless.  I was thinking of how big the constellation Draconis is.  It was so cool to watch it backing in an arc across the northern sky, sandwiched between Lyra and the Big Dipper.

I was reading  a National Geographic magazine recently that had photos of art objects and paintings on caves from more than 25,000 years ago.  It is so wild to think the pole star has circled Draconis at least once since those pieces of art were created.

The swath of sky that includes is so expansive it boggles my mind. 

The moment i first got a look at the sky was 10:58.  it's been a great week.  I've been getting into some serious meditations with tertiary progressions.  it jsut this second occurred to me how appropriate that is for the conjunction in 
Cancer.  tertiary progressions focus on the lunar cycle and the moon rules Cancer.

also i am working on the 2nd chapter of the yoga sutras and reading about sutra number 5 which defines egoism or I-am-ness.  a day or two ago i was wondering whether i would have gotten into Patanjali if i had known about him back in the days when i gave up on meditation.

well, that's a quick rundown of my cool Mercury lined up with Sun, earth and pluto.  maybe now i can get some sleep.